Speak English like a German

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as ‚Euro-English‘.

In the first year, ’s‘ will replace the soft ‚c‘. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard ‚c‘ will be dropped in favour of ‚k‘. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome ‚ph‘ will be replaced with ‚f‘. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent ‚e‘ in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‚th‘ with ‚z‘ and ‚w’with ‚v‘.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary ‚o‘ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‚ou‘ and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
I f zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

PS from the editor: Don’t make fun of Germans please – they won’t understand it.

Januar 6, 2008. Schlagwörter: , , . Allet, Internetdingens.

6 Kommentare

  1. creativesideburner2 replied:

    Haha, show der dummkopfen how it is done! Very good, ja! Mach schnell!

  2. creativesideburner1 replied:

    Der dummkopfen are very dangerous! Sey spiik like sat, but can be very dangerous in a mob!

  3. creativesideburner2 replied:

    Vhen der dummkopfen kommt, alle mann scheissen!

  4. creativesideburner1 replied:

    Das versteht man doch nur, wenn man diesen Monty Python Film kennt. Könnten wir eigentlich mal verlinken.

  5. creativesideburner2 replied:

    Nö, ist noch nerdiger. versteht man nur wenn man schon mal einen britischen oder US-Comic in dem Deutsche vorkommen gelesen hat. Ach Du Leiber!!!!!

  6. creativesideburner1 replied:

    The German Leid!

    Das die Comic-hersteller nicht mal nachfragen. Sind doch genug Dummkopfen in die USA ausgewandert.

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